Connecting verses Checking Boxes

   In the world of dating in your 40’s (and I would imagine other age ranges), you will meet people with all different agendas. Some of these agendas come into play pretty quickly, like those looking just for casual sex or fetish play. Others will take a little longer to surface. The one agenda that I see again and again that frustrates me to no end is the Box Checker.
   This guy tells himself ( and you) that he is looking for a serious relationship. The reality is more like he is looking for a reason not to get into a serious relationship with each woman he talks to. He thinks he has upstanding ‘morals’, like not talking to more than one woman at a time, (which he will also make you feel compelled to comply with), and “being a gentleman” whatever that means.
   Conversation with the Box Checker may start out casual enough, but soon you can tell that he’s asking questions with the intent of culling the herd. At first it’s stressful….which answer is the right one?! Then it’s funny, because seriously? These are the questions he uses to determine if you’re “the one”?! Then it just becomes annoying. Rather than getting to know you at all, he’s asking pointed questions to see if he can rule you out. Which one of his ‘requirements’ will you not pass? He will be quick to judge if you ever make it past the messaging to an in person meeting, and there’s almost no way that you will get past a first date. This guy is looking for a creature that does not exist, and when he doesn’t find her he can blame all of the sub-par women that he did meet for not measuring up.
Good luck, Box Checker. While you were staring down, checking off boxes, you missed your dream girl walking by. But you wouldn’t even have known because she isn’t who you thought she was.