Second Date with India

   We had made plans for Friday night after work. Since India works far from where I live and would be fighting Friday night traffic, it would be a late date. I spoke to him in the morning, and when I didn’t hear from him mid-afternoon like I usually do, I knew he was busy. A couple hours later he called. He sounded very excited and asked if it would be OK if he got here at 6….he was on his way!
   This was much nicer. I decided on a local Chinese restaurant for dinner because he had said how much he liked eggs and couldn’t have them at home because of his families religious beliefs. This place has an excellent Egg Foo Yung. I’m enjoying introducing India to new things. He’s been in the US ten years, but has lived in a kind of bubble. I don’t think he had ever been to a Chinese restaurant before. He enjoyed the tea, and the food…and, he said, the company.
   Afterward, we came back to my place and made some tea. We let it get cold while we made love. Last time, he was in a hurry. It had been a long time for him, and we were both very excited. This time, he took the time to ask me what I wanted and watched for my reactions to things. It was really nice, and we are learning each other. He always wants a second time, and we climaxed together both times, which is always amazing. I love the feeling that our bodies are communicating.
   At one point, we were playing and I told him to tell me how much he wanted me…he misheard me and told me that he loved me. It quite shocked me, but once I figured out what happened I let it go. Afterward, drinking tea in the kitchen he put his arms around me and said- anyone can say anything at that time, but I really do feel that way….I love you.
   Ok, whoa…he just said it the once so we are going to let that ruminate a bit. He started talking about what he wants to do in his life, etc. Says he’s not sure where this is going, but is obviously thinking long term. He asked if I had any expectations of him….just to treat me well at this point. I don’t want any pressure from either side. I’m enjoying him….that’s enough for right now.

Advertisements

The Indian

   When I met India, I didn’t really know what to think. He was cute, we had a connection, and we had some fun. I wasn’t sure if I would hear from him again, but I did the very next day. He wanted to know how I had felt about the night before. That’s when I started thinking he might be more serious than I had thought.
   He’s not much of a texter, but he has a long drive when there’s traffic and he calls me twice a day. I enjoy our conversations, but sometimes he can be difficult to understand. I told him that I am going to improve his English so that I can understand him better…he actually thanked me for this.
   He had asked me when he could see me again and we had agreed on Friday. Unexpectedly, I had to stay home instead of going to work at my parents ( which is close to where he lives). When I told him this, he asked what I would think of him coming to me instead. Of course I said yes. He will have a long drive in heavy traffic, so I really appreciate the effort. He’s also not feeling well so I told him that I would take care of him if he’s still sick. I’m really looking forward to seeing him again.

Damn You, Tinder

   Twice now I have Super Liked someone by accident. It seems to me that it’s too easy to do if it’s happening accidentally. I’ve also figured something out about Tinder that makes it less fun. If I pass on someone, and they come back up- it’s because they’ve Liked me. At that point, I often feel obligated to like them back, or I feel like I’m cheating. Like I found the gifts before Christmas. I took the shortcut through the pass. I saw the answers to the test.
   This Tinder game might be too hard for me!

Why Are These the Only Two Choices?

   In the world of online dating, you have to make a decision about your intentions. Some places, you have to check a box, but even if you are not using one of those sites you will quickly need to decide. One of the first questions you will be asked is what you’re looking for. The problem with this question is that there are only two answers, at least in the men I’ve encountered eyes. Either you’re looking for a serious relationship, or you’re looking for casual sex.
   Why are these the only two choices? Why can’t something casual just be dating and not just sex? I think it’s a problem for women of a certain age and not men. My friends are all coupled off, and I feel uncomfortable doing some things alone. I’d like someone to eat with, see a show with, grab drinks with, etc. I’m not looking to get married again (not anytime soon, anyway), but I want more than sex. I want companionship and conversations, I want a connection, and a little time. Is that just an impossibility these days?

Word From India

   Yesterday, he texted me to thank me for the night before, and wanted to know my feelings about it. This morning, I sent him a picture of the bruise he gave me. He texted, then called- but I was driving with Kiddo in the car. He left a voicemail. It just said that he would call me later, but I keep replaying it to hear his voice. That accent is just so adorable!

My First Meet Up

   One of my friends encouraged me to use the Meet Up website to find local events, so I installed the app on my phone and joined some groups. Last night, I attended my first Meet Up event. This was an event out in by Meet Up itself, and not one specific group. It was promoted as a ‘Singles Dance Party’, and had speed dating included.
   I purposely missed the speed dating. When I arrived, about an hour and a half after the official start of the party, I was shocked. At 42, I was by far one of the youngest people at the party. One of just a handful under 50. Almost all of the men appeared to be in their 60’s. And oddly enough, most of them were already paired off.    When  I arrived, instead of the promised 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s music…they were playing songs from the 50’s, and alternating between fast and slow songs. Eventually, the DJ did play some better more modern music, but the dance floor remained full of couples spinning, twisting, and dipping. As a single, I didn’t feel comfortable dancing, and there weren’t many options for partners.
I did end up meeting the one man near my age, but I would be hesitant to go to a Meet Up event again.

It’s Complicated…

   My life right now is so complicated…
I spend Mon-Wed doing an online college class and being mom to my 16 year old. School runs, homework, errands, dinner…
Thursday mornings I get up early, pack a bag, leave a big bowl of food out for the cat, and drop the Kiddo off at school. They go to their dad’s after school and stay there until Sunday dinnertime. I drive an hour and a half down to my parents house, unload my stuff, then get back in the car and drive for Uber/Lyft for the rest of the day. I get up early on Fri/Sat and spend all day driving again. Sunday I may drive a little before driving back home …unpacking, doing laundry, and hitting the grocery store before Kiddo gets home.
Except for the third weekend of the month when Kiddo is home. I try to spend that weekend doing things with them and working on projects around the house.
   I’d love to have a relationship, but I can’t see how that would fit in to my crazy schedule, so I’ve hidden my profiles on the dating sites and deleted the aps. Except Tinder….I still have that.