This morning, I got an unexpected text from my ex-boyfriend. It was unexpected because the last time we texted, I told him that I had a fantasy about us being able to work through some of our issues without our families being involved. Let’s be real, I was talking about HIS family, and HIS issue of not communicating. He loled the idea, and when I said I wished he was open to working on things he never replied. Silence is it’s own answer, I realize that.
So when he texted me this morning, I was surprised. I had posted something on FB (where we are still friends), and he was asking about that. He was checking up on me- or that was his pretense, anyway. I know that he still cares about my well- being, and it’s sweet.
We chatted back and forth for a little while, just chit- chat. I always like hearing from him, I probably always will. I will probably always wish that things worked out differently, and I feel a little bit guilty about moving forward with someone new and still feeling that way.
Let’s just call it what it is- an invitation for casual sex. It’s this generation’s Drive In Movie. Nobody is watching Netflix, and nobody is chilling. If you’re lucky, there might be snacks and alcohol involved. If not, it’s just bad sex on an uncomfortable couch.
If Netflix and Chill works for you, more power to you, but let’s not call it a ‘date’. It makes things even more complicated for those of us who want to actually be dating….a process which involves going out.
I think I just saw one of my married friends on Tinder. Not just any married guy, but my high school best friend/boyfriend.
I met him at church, and we spent a few years trying to decide if we were just really good friends or more.
Turned out that we were better off as friends, and I suggested he ask out another girl at our church who I knew liked him.
A few years later, I went to their wedding. They are still married, and happily so I thought. I wasn’t sure that it was him, so I sent him a message…he admitted it and gave me some story about how he didn’t know what it was when he signed up, and that he doesn’t have the app anymore….
I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m so disappointed!
Tonight was my second date with Popcorn. He had suggested another movie, but not one that I wanted to see. He asked if there was something else that I wanted to do, so I suggested a local comedy show. I’ve been wanting to check it out for a while but never had anyone to go with.
He thought that was a great idea, so we met there when the doors opened. We know now that was way too early since the show didn’t start until 45 minutes after it was supposed to. We ordered some drinks and a pizza. I know that my stomach doesn’t like pizza, but every once in a while I eat it anyway, and then I remember why I shouldn’t eat it. The whole last half of the show I was regretting that pizza.
We had some time before the show to talk a little bit, which was nice. The comics were funny, but the host was the funniest. At the very end of the night, he was talking directly to us- asking where we were from, etc. When it came out that we were on our second date, he gave us a pair of tickets to a local baseball game. The game is this Saturday, so that will be our third date. Popcorn likes this local team, so that was a nice bonus for him- and I actually like baseball….oh! I can wear my baseball hat! Ok, it’s actually an Indian Motorcycle baseball hat, but still.
Normally, I would linger a little more after a date, but because of my stomach I just wanted to get home. Popcorn was having an awkward moment, and I could tell that he wanted to kiss me but I wasn’t ready yet. I gave him a hug and jumped into my car.
When I got home, there was a text asking me to let him know when I got home and saying what a great time he had. The baseball game should be really fun- and hot dogs don’t usually bother my stomach like pizza does!
I love the beginning of a relationship. Every first is special, and everything is new. Around every bend is something that you haven’t enjoyed together yet, and you’re in a mad dash to pack it all in before things go south.
So today I was texting Popcorn and he was heading home from work. I noticed a missed call and I thought “butt dial”, but when I asked he said that he had decided to call me on his way home. Very sweet. I called him back and we chatted for a few minutes.
I had never spoken to him on the phone before. It was a nice, lighthearted conversation. Very well done. I am looking forward to a lot more firsts with Popcorn.
Last night, I joined some friends at a local bar for karaoke. Yes, it was a Tuesday, but this is our traditional night for hanging out. There is only one gay bar in the extended area, so it’s busy even on weeknights. (Some of my friends are lesbians, but we all enjoy this place) Lots of regulars, and the owner is behind the bar.
One of the regulars is a bearded young man with a great set of pipes. I had asked my friend about him a couple weeks ago, since I saw her talking to him. She said he was in his 20’s, and I told her at that point that I was not interested. Last night, she told me that he’s actually 20…and insisted in introducing me.
All of my girlfriends were making comments, pushing me to hook up with that young pup. He then came back to our table and told us that he has a house, a car, and a good job. My girlfriends were practically going wild. I’m the only single one, and sometimes they try to live vicariously through me. I explained that I’m not interested. He’s a year older than my son. He’s a regular at this bar. We have nothing in common.
He then came back and showed us a picture of his baby. He’s divorced. His wife cheated on him. He wants to see the kid every day, so he lets his ex and her boyfriend live in his house with the baby. Even if I were interested, and even if I just wanted a casual thing- I would no longer be. Too much drama. No wonder this straight guy spends his evenings at a gay bar- it’s 18+ and he’s not old enough to get into other bars.
Even after his confession about his living situation, my girlfriends were pushing me to get together with this guy. I don’t understand it, and I don’t appreciate it. It’s not funny, and I feel harassed.
Lately, I have been doing a close by hike in the mornings before it gets hot. The hike is not very long, but there is a pretty good change in attitude, and it’s a very popular route. Some mornings, a boot camp fitness class uses the initial incline for their workouts. They also blast their music- which can be heard all the way to the top of the hike.
Yesterday, I brought my headphones and put some music on my phone to listen to while I was hiking. I put on a station designed for endurance training, so it had a good beat.
I definitely kept up a good pace, and I also took less rest stops than I usually do. I could feel the difference, but I felt good. This morning, I woke up sore. More sore than I have been in a long time. It was a surprising reminder that I am growing and pushing myself. It’s a good thing, even if it’s uncomfortable.