Because The Musician plays in a lot of bars, I spend a lot more time in bars than I used to. I never have been a big fan of the bar scene, but I love watching my man play with a band. Yesterday, they were playing at one of their regular bars. It’s a quirky spot with a really nice group of regulars. This is a country bar, and all the regulars two-step…. something I haven’t learned to do yet.
   Yesterday, there was an odd man at the bar. I saw him go up to some of the band members and give them hand signs rather than exchange words. This seemed odd, and he also seemed aggressive. I was trying to pay attention to the band, and not this strange guy. I was hoping he had left, but that was not the case.
   This odd man came very quickly across the room to the table I was sitting at, slammed his bag down on a stool, slammed his beer down on the table, and motioned to me that he wanted me to dance with him. I shook my head no and said that I didn’t dance. He paused a beat, and then he grabbed my wrist hard and tried to physically pull me onto the dance floor. I again told him no. He seemed to get aggravated, but he left me alone after that…although he stayed in my proximity for a while which made me uncomfortable. My wrist was smarting for several minutes, and my head spun. This happened in a crowded bar on a Sunday afternoon….10 feet away from my boyfriend and his band mates, and across the table from several friends….and nobody saw. I went through two different scenarios in my head. Clearly, this guy was drunk, and also there was something”off” about him. I didn’t really get hurt, he stopped after the initial attack, and I didn’t want to cause a scene. On the other hand, I felt very violated. I had already said no, and he tried to physically force me. His behavior was not acceptable whether it was observed or not, and he was a threat to other women in the bar. At the next break, The Musician and I went outside and I told him what had happened. He didn’t want to cause a scene at a place where he works, so he quietly explained the situation to the bouncer and asked him to take care of it. The guy caused a big to do when he was asked to leave….trying to sneak back in, and getting the bouncer so mad he was yelling at the guy. I did not want to witness it if a fight was going to happen, so we snuck back in the side door.
   Later that night, when the band leader heard about it he said to let them know right away if anything ever happened again. It’s nice to know they have my back, but said that we live in a world where it’s so common.


Rideshare Driving Sucks

Sometimes, my passengers have heard (from Uber commercials mostly) how much money you can make rideshare driving. They will say something about how much money I must be making, or what a great job it must be. Usually I try to keep it positive without out and out affirming….”I’m a student, so the flexibility is great for me…”  or something along those lines. More and more, I am edging toward the truth though. Rideshare driving is a crappy job. I’m ruining my car making minimum wage and not getting any of the benefits of being an employee. Yes, you can make decent money..
driving drunks around all hours of the night or if you have a nice enough car to work one of the high end platforms. I do neither of these. Today, I drove a man from near the happiest place on earth into the West side of the big city. His ride lasted an hour and fifteen minutes in  moderate traffic. I made just over $40 on that ride…and it took me three hours to get back home in Friday rush hour traffic. I had already been driving for over 7 hours at that point. Many of my rides net me under $5, and very few people tip. I do enjoy my passengers, and I like to drive, but a if I could find another way to make ends meet, I would. The navigation we use is so bad that it makes me want to cry. If you type in the name of the local airport, it takes you around back to the tower instead of the terminal. It routes behind a pin so that you end up on the other side of a culdesac, and today I had a request come in with no address- only a street name. What I make doing this is not worth the hassle of it, but I’m accustomed to eating.
If you use rideshare services, please don’t be cheap. Don’t wait out surge pricing, try to escape fees, or use a lower platform than what you need. Be civil to your driver….TIP your driver, and act like a human being instead of an animal.

First Fight

   It’s been two and a half months with The Musician now. Things are going well…so well! It’s still a struggle balancing everything, but I usually keep it together. Tonight, though….we had our first fight…except that it wasn’t a fight because we never said a word to each other. I had a long day, leaving for school at 7:30 am. I got my math test back and was disappointed in my grade. I had to go straight from school to my BFF’s house to babysit…. spending a few minutes with her when I got there lending some emotional support. I tried to get some homework done while the kids were playing, but I had to make them lunch, then take the older one to volunteer at the horse stables, run lines for the little ones play, pick my own Kiddo up from school, get us all something to eat and then get  the little one to rehearsal. By the time we made it home, it was 6:30. I was already tired, but had laundry and errands to run and The Musician had missed it when I told him he should pick something up for dinner on the way home, so he needed to eat. I started laundry and The Musician and I headed out to get him dinner and run to the store. We got back, I put groceries and laundry away and was in the bathroom just wishing that I could crawl into bed instead of packing to go out of town the next day. I had hurt my back the night before, and was feeling physically at the end of my rope. As I was sitting on the pot, the cat jumped into the bathroom window- a common occurrence. What came next was not common at all….I was hit by a shower of dirt! I guess the cat tried to jump into the hanging planter, but the wire it hangs from slides so that it can stay balanced. The planter was tipped sideways and potting soil covered the entire tiny bathroom! There was dirt piled up in the tub, on the floor, even in my pants. At first I laughed at the nutty cat…then I realized that I was going to have to clean this all up before I went to bed. The Musician heard the commotion and looked into the bathroom. He asked if I needed the vacuum, and I said something about needing a lot of things, but firstly needing to finish up my business. As the reality of the situation set in, I became frustrated and angry. I was tired, my back hurt, and I would have another hour of back breaking cleaning to finish before I could sleep. I knew that it was my house and my pet, it’s obviously my job to clean it up, but I guess I expected The Musician to offer to help….or at least give me a hug and say he was sorry I had to deal with it. Instead, he sat on the couch looking at gear on his iPad while I schlepped cleaning implements and soiled linens back and forth. I knew that most of my anger had nothing to do with him, so I didn’t say anything to him. I didn’t want that rage to be directed at him when the mess wasn’t his fault. But the longer I held it in, the more angry I got at him….how could he sit there and not say anything? He knew what kind of day I had, that I hurt my back, and that the next day was going to be long and arduous. How could he not even offer to help? I mean sure, there was no way both of us could even fit in the bathroom together but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t appreciate the offer. He is usually so thoughtful and caring, so to see him just shut down like that surprised me. I started the shower curtain in the wash, since it was covered with dirt, and finished cleaning the bathroom. I sat down to watch some TV and couldn’t get the TV on…more frustration! I went to use the restroom, but The Musician was already in there. I heard the shower running, and I asked through the door if he was taking a shower without the shower curtain, but he didn’t hear me. I just imagined the bathroom that I had spent an hour cleaning being doused with water, and my head nearly exploded. I went back in the living room to watch bad TV and eat junk food alone and try to cool off. When I came to bed, The Musician was already there. He seemed to be asleep, and still hadn’t said a word to me. I crawled into bed, and after I settled in he put a hand on my waist and told me good night. Just that caused my anger to flash again, and instead of saying what I wanted to “Oh, you’re talking to me now?!” , I stayed silent. He pulled away, and got up a little while later. I thought he just went into the living room, but when I went to the bathroom I discovered a text from him saying he was sorry about our little falling out, and that he would be back to take care of the house while I was gone unless I changed my mind. WTF?! I asked him to please come home in the morning so we can talk. I can’t leave town for the weekend with things like this. We are going to have to learn to get through these kind of things….