Connecting verses Checking Boxes

   In the world of dating in your 40’s (and I would imagine other age ranges), you will meet people with all different agendas. Some of these agendas come into play pretty quickly, like those looking just for casual sex or fetish play. Others will take a little longer to surface. The one agenda that I see again and again that frustrates me to no end is the Box Checker.
   This guy tells himself ( and you) that he is looking for a serious relationship. The reality is more like he is looking for a reason not to get into a serious relationship with each woman he talks to. He thinks he has upstanding ‘morals’, like not talking to more than one woman at a time, (which he will also make you feel compelled to comply with), and “being a gentleman” whatever that means.
   Conversation with the Box Checker may start out casual enough, but soon you can tell that he’s asking questions with the intent of culling the herd. At first it’s stressful….which answer is the right one?! Then it’s funny, because seriously? These are the questions he uses to determine if you’re “the one”?! Then it just becomes annoying. Rather than getting to know you at all, he’s asking pointed questions to see if he can rule you out. Which one of his ‘requirements’ will you not pass? He will be quick to judge if you ever make it past the messaging to an in person meeting, and there’s almost no way that you will get past a first date. This guy is looking for a creature that does not exist, and when he doesn’t find her he can blame all of the sub-par women that he did meet for not measuring up.
Good luck, Box Checker. While you were staring down, checking off boxes, you missed your dream girl walking by. But you wouldn’t even have known because she isn’t who you thought she was.


6 thoughts on “Connecting verses Checking Boxes

      1. It’s a book: “The novel centers on genetics professor Don Tillman, who struggles to have a serious relationship with women. With a friend’s help, he devises a questionnaire to assess the suitability of female partners.”

        Liked by 2 people

  1. Lol, love it. Apparently the Box Checker is consistent in every state (or possibly country). I’ve been there, done that and also laughed at the amusement. Before my boyfriend and I got together I had the ‘fun’ of trying to online crap as well. After 26 years of marriage I hadn’t realized how people don’t actually meet in person anymore! Sheeot, I thought I was from the Stone Age because of that. Lol
    If my boyfriend and I ever end it, I vow to become celibate or just go lesbian. The options and type of men on those things isn’t worth it. Besides I’m old and jaded. I think more like an OLD man then most men anyways… Ha ha and hell if they don’t meet MY check box, F it. I’m sure most men reading this would say I’m obviously bitter but no, I just like mine to still be a bit like Rhett Butler, Pierce Bronson (even his 007) with a fun mixture of comedy like Justin Timberlake.

    Liked by 1 person

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