My life is about to change….again. Kiddo doesn’t want to be at their father’s house when his girlfriend is there, and he has agreed to that. He proposed a weekend outing, and she agrees to that. I will go from having Kiddo gone Thu-Sun three weekends a month to being with me all the time. Considering that I am out of town for work those weekends, this will be quite an adjustment. This will also require a re-working of our visitation agreement and support payments. I haven’t brought it up yet, but it needs to be done. It will also piss off the violent girlfriend. Yes, my life is about to change again….
The temporary restraining order was approved this morning. My daughter was excluded from it, so I may have to deal with that separately. She turned on such a sob story. It was disgusting.
I’m sitting in my living room, holding the pieces of myself together with a tenuous thread. I’m due at court in a little over an hour to ask for a restraining order against my ex-husband’s girlfriend. I spent yesterday morning at the courthouse filing the paperwork, and the afternoon waiting at the police station to file a report. I waited for three hours and never got to file the report. They did make me a copy of the incident log to bring to court, though. It shows that when the officer arrived at the house and spoke to her, she stated “If anything happens to her I did it”. I’m glad I waited for that. I don’t think that getting a temporary restraining order will be an issue….but you never know!
I have a habbit of calling out “nice guys” on their sexist remarks. These nice guys often think that because their remarks are not as overt in their sexism, or because they are occasional, they are not really sexist……as if being less sexist is acceptable. What many people don’t understand is that sexism is about inequality. Either you see men and women as equally worthy humans, or you don’t. The rhetoric of sexism, the acts of sexism (rape culture, dumb blonde jokes, trophy wives, unequal wages, street harassment, etc) are a result of this inequality of thought. When you do not see someone as a fully versed person, it is easy to consider only their exterior, to feel that you deserve to do what you want to them because you want to, and to not consider their desires. When you see someone as less of a person, you do not trust their opinions (sufferage rights, anyone?), do not pay them as much for work, and do not give them the best jobs. Sexism is not about not having it all, it’s about equal opportunity to make those choices for ourselves.
I will not stop calling out “nice guys” on their sexist remarks (even though it narrows down my dating pool) because if I can get one nice guy to see that even a little sexism is unacceptable, then it will have been worth it. Plus, I could never date one of those slightly sexist guys, anyway.
Mr. Four Hour Lunch sent me a Merry Christmas text the other day. It started a conversation, and we have been talking off and on ever since. He got a promotion at work, and isn’t working as much (we’ll see how true that is), and found a way to ask if I was seeing anyone. He said he’s only been on one date since he saw me, and that was more of a friend. We have plans to go to dinner and a movie next week. Of course, I am the one with no time now. I’m going to concentrate on finding a regular job so that I don’t have to be gone on the weekends. Wish me luck!
I always felt like if I were really in a jam, I could count on the police. I no longer feel that way. When I picked my daughter up at her dad’s today, his girlfriend went ballistic and I had to call 911. She opened my car door and tried to get me out of the car, she screamed and yelled and threatened to kill me. The dispatch officer knew what was going on, told me an officer was on the way….and hung up with me. After 10 more minutes (most of which she spent screaming at me through the screen door)….and in which time she came back out, screamed and yelled some more and banged on the windows again….no car showed. I decided to drive to the police station to file a report instead. The station was closed….when I called the station they said they had a car en route ( this was now about 30 minutes after the initial 911 call), but they could send the officer to my home to take the report instead). I’m still waiting, and now this is what we’re doing for Christmas…. because it’s what has to be done to get the legal documentation to protect my child and myself.
File this under ‘things I never thought I’d have to do’
It’s not enough that I kept it simple this year, planned ahead, and should have nothing to do at this point but relax….that’s not the way the universe works.
I heard back from my lawyer and he thinks I should file a restraining order against my ex-husband’s girlfriend and include my daughter as a protected person. As the girlfriend lives with my ex-husband (and he supports her- she doesn’t work), this would be quite a big deal.
I agree with my lawyer, and I don’t think this woman should be around my daughter….but this would bring about a huge shitstorm. I’m already fearful on a daily basis that she will damage my vehicle. I know she’s vindictive and childish, she has my ex-husband and my adult son to help with her bidding, and if the judge throws my daughter out of the restraining order, she may be subject to blowback.
I’m gathering opinions and trying to decide the best course of action. Leave a comment if you have an opinion, similar experience, or advice….my ears are open