I Just Realized…

   Valentine’s Day is just a few weeks away. Retailers across the US have displays bathed in red, aisles full of pink, and hearts and candy everywhere. I’m sure that I will be spending it alone and calling it an early night, as I did on my birthday and New Years Eve. I never was one for that sugary sweet, forced romance of St. Valentine, but it would be nice if that were a choice and not a given.
   I miss passion, connection, and friendship. I know I shouldn’t compare, but it really irks me that my ex-husband (as rotten as he has become), has found a partner (as rotten as SHE is) that is completely devoted to him. She would go to the ends of the earth to protect him, and he knows it. I am jealous that he has someone in his corner and I stand alone.
   It’s not fair. I devoted my life to my family. I gave everything up for him and the kids. He walked away with a career that I had created (he would never even have finished college without me), and slid right back into a life where someone was taking care of everything for him. I am carving a whole new life out of nothing, and I have nobody to share it with.
   Mostly, I just struggle in silence. Once in a while, it becomes too much. Nobody said that life was fair….but nobody said that it could be so aweful either.

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2 thoughts on “I Just Realized…

  1. Not that it will make you feel any better but try looking at it from a new light- maybe he found someone to take care of him so quickly because he NEEDS a caretaker- a mother figure- and not a wife. Maybe he’s not strong enough to stand on him own. Maybe you haven’t found someone new yet because you ARE strong enough to stand on your own. What you need is someone to enjoy the life you made with you- you’ll find him 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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