More Insomnia…

I can’t wait for school and the holidays to be over so that I can sleep again! The middle of the night wakefulness gets me to thinking about Bean. We haven’t had a phone conversation since we last saw each other. It was the first time we were intimate, and it’s starting to drive me nuts. I mean, that was Saturday and it’s now Wednesday. I know we’re both busy, and we’ve both tried reaching out and not connected….it just seems like a lot of time to not be able to have a phone call. And then I think about how I was driving all day Sunday, and how Monday he was at work and then with his kids, and yesterday he worked until 9pm. Of course it’s been hard to connect, and it’s only been a few days. He hasn’t given me any reason to think he doesn’t want to talk to me or see me, he hasn’t made any indication that he has only short term ideas about me. Last time we were together he mentioned “next time”. Hell, he hadn’t so much as had a drink with a woman in four years, so obviously he doesn’t take it lightly. The thing is, I’d like assurances….and it’s way to early to let my insecurities show. He hasn’t done the online dating, so he won’t understand how crazy that is and how it affects you. I’m not ready for him to know how much I like him. It:s the suffer in silence stage….but I’m not very good at it.


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