Either/Or

My marriage was to a person who was not very affectionate, caring, or supportive. I didn’t know that at the time, or know that it was important to me, but I missed it sorely. The only long term relationship I’ve had since was with someone who was very affectionate and caring and supportive….who couldn’t really communicate or move forward.

Are these the choices? There’s no perfect person. I understand that. You choose someone whose flaws you can deal with. Maybe that’s just what I haven’t found yet. My best friend says I’m too picky…..but she is a career woman who settled for an unemployed man who she now supports, and he is sneaking money out by the hundreds and lying about where he is and what he’s doing. Now she’s faced with having to extricate him from her life, and her daughters lives.

If you settle for someone who isn’t really compatible with you, in the end it will be messy and painful. Hell, the end is always messy and painful….or the middle is. If the choices are a painful mess and being alone, right now I’m choosing alone.

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3 thoughts on “Either/Or

  1. Yes it IS very difficult finding that ‘right’ someone. And yes, we sometimes DO ‘re-choose’ the wrong ones along the way. I hope that your friend also gets out of that mess safely (and sanely). Been there, done that and know how hard that is!
    As for you – keep your chin up and keep your own wits about you – I STILL try to keep my own self ‘in tact’ (even though I’m in a relationship, it doesn’t mean I’m not guarded and still recovering from my own wounds that keeps me still feeling like I can’t trust).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You speak my language in so many ways. One of the hardest things for me is feeling that not many in my inner circle understand where I’m coming from. A small handful of them are happily married or in a relationship, the others are just married. It’s to that last group especially that I wish I could say, “I see your life and I don’t want it. I will take single (because I know I’m happy solo) as opposed to the agony you go through.”

    Liked by 1 person

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