Stress and Boredom

   Money is always a stressful subject when there isn’t very much of it around. I found out  now that my divorce is final, support payments will be automatically withheld from my ex-husband’s paycheck. This is great, except that my lawyer failed to mention this, and there will be a gap in support payments. Had I known this, I would have spent my summer working as much as possible and saving money rather than taking summer school. I am feeling the stress.
   I am also feeling very bored lately, and maybe that is just my reaction to stress. My ex-boyfriend told me once that I have more free time than most people, and that my big brain never stops spinning. I can’t disagree. I got cable just to have something to occupy my mind sometimes. My apartment is small, but when Kiddo is gone it can feel so empty.
   I’m used to having either someone to text throughout the day, or dating sites/aps to play with. I’ve decided that I want to take a break from those, but it leaves an empty space in my time. I have lots of projects that I should be working on around the house, but I find that I can only do so much of that, and that I don’t have the funds to buy supplies that I don’t already have on hand.
   If I were honest with myself, I’d call it ‘depression’. I’ve lost interest in things, which is why I’m bored. Not much sounds like fun, and I feel trapped by my lack of money. It’s situational depression, but it comes and goes with each new stressor. I’ve been trying to figure out how to deal with this for the last couple of years since the end of my marriage. I feel like I have gotten so much better about it, but there’s still work to do.

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