I miss my ex. Not my husband of 20 years, but the man that I dated for nine months. It seems odd that would be the case, but it is.
   I miss his smell. He had such a string, pungent smell. I have never been with anyone as smelly as he was. At first, I had a hard time with his scent, but I came to love it. I always thought it odd that he didn’t wear a cologne to help mask it, but it probably wouldn’t have done any good, anyway.
   I miss his voice, the way that he called me ‘baby’, and his firm grip, always somewhere on me. He was the touchiest, feeliest man I have ever known, and I loved it. We would be out getting some groceries, and he would pull me down an empty aisle and kiss me passionately. Every interaction ended with an “I love you”, and he really meant it, every time.
   I miss just knowing that I had a person to be there…. you know, if there was a ‘plus one’ situation, or a body that needed dragging. I miss his kids, too- even though they were a big part of why we broke up. I miss looking forward to sharing news with him, hearing his encouragement, and hearing his news in return.
   I miss the sex. Oh my god, the sex! It was truly the best sex that I have ever had- every single time. I just felt so connected to him when we were together. He had this way of knowing what felt good to me, and exploring that more. I’m a big thinker, and sometimes in bed I am thinking about something else entirely. He had a way of engaging all of my senses so that I was completely present, and not thinking about anything else. He would get me so excited beforehand, that by the time we were actually having sex, I would orgasm pretty quickly. I had the most intense, longest orgasms with him. Not like anything else I had ever experienced before. I’m pretty sure that his tiny penis was the reason behind this. I would get on top and ride him, and I think he was hitting my G-Spot. But he also used his hands all over me, kissed me passionately, and said the most endearing things during sex. He also managed to orgasm at the same time as I did….almost every single time. It was a mind blowing sexual connection, and I really miss it.


3 thoughts on “Missing

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