Choppy Waters

   Yesterday was a rough one…
I started the day with the final installment of the break up discussion with my boyfriend. He was so nice about it…as he is about everything. It almost made it harder. I realized as I was listening to him that neither of us had been really listening for some time. It was definitely the best course of action, but I still do care about him, and it was hard.
   It was made worse by the fact that I was experiencing an extremely heavy period and cramps, and having been contacted by someone from my past that I don’t care to be contacted by. Multiple times… Blocking is never enough for him.
   I was just counting my money, and worrying about how we will get through the week on what I had left in the budget, when my 16 year old calls and asks to go to Applebee’s with the cast after their play. I had no problem with her going, but I didn’t have any money to give her for food. I had already given her $20 to see a movie with her friends on Thursday, even though she was at her dad’s and he should have paid. I try to keep the money stresses away from her, but she also needs a realistic view of how things are for us. When I told her no, she burst into tears and begged. I ended up letting her go, but I hate being the parent of the poor kid that always needs something.
   I would never tell her that the reason I didn’t have more money was because her father’s support check was late…again. Or that he hadn’t paid the back support that he still owes me. I had to transfer money from my savings to pay my rent… least I have a savings!
   We made it through, but it was the hardest day that I’ve had in a while.


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