Feel the Burn

   Sometimes, life is just hard. For the past year, I have been dealing with GERD. I’m not talking about a little heartburn, I’m talking about waking up out of a dead sleep choking on burning stomach acid running up my throat. It was painful, and scary, and affected my sleep on top of everything else. After a year of trying different medications, with no success… I decided to control it with diet and lifestyle changes.
   I have given up fried food, chocolate, caffeine, and alcohol. I am mindful of eating too soon before I lay down (or swim), and of portion size. This is not always as easy as it sounds, but it is successful if followed closely. I am trying to eat a healthy variety of foods, and keep them less processed, and I have lost some weight in the process.
   Tonight, I went to a party at my friend’s house. I was feeling a great need for a party, what with the recent break up and all. I was looking forward to drunken debauchery, until I realized that I could not participate. No alcohol for me. People brought snacks, but everything that showed up at this party was something that I could not have. I was hungry, but trying to be good. Then I realized that it was getting late, and even if there was something that I could eat, I couldn’t eat it because it was too close to bedtime.
   Then they brought out the chocolate frosted birthday cake. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I turned on my heel with tears stinging my eyes, and marched to my car. I know that it’s only food, and it isn’t personal…..but it hurt, and I had just had enough hurt for one day.


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