Sometimes, things seem so horribly bleak that all you can do is cry in the middle of the night. Sometimes, things are even too bad to cry. There seems to be no way out, and the dark tunnel of existence only winds its way deeper into the bowels of regret and remorse. The really terrible thing is that you must then gird up your loins and march bravely into that damn pit….knowing full well what awaits you. It is not bravado or courage that brings you to this place, but simple resignation of what must be done and faith that you will come out the other side. Into these dark hollows we stumble, hoping for the best, but prepared for the worst.
   These are the true hero’s, who do not run or skirt their duties- be them small or great. Those who do not put off the unpleasant, or downright hateful tasks at hand, but go willingly forth and perform to the best of their abilities.
   Me? I put off so many things that I must keep lists on my phone so that I don’t forget entirely in the end. I am one of those cowards who looks to others, to see first if anyone else will carry the load. It’s not intentional. I just always seem to be so close to my tipping point. Everyone else seems to handle their shit so much more decisively. It may not even be true, but it feels that way from where I stand. Never the less, I always have…


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